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November 5th, 2012

Daycare incident

Okay P101, this is probably off-topic (it's not about my kid/directly about parenting), but I figured it would be a good place to ask.

This morning when I dropped off my daughter at daycare, there was a tiny baby in a car seat behind the front desk. The lobby area is pretty small, but there is a small office space behind the front desk. No adult (staff or parent) was at the desk or in the lobby. The baby was crying and crying. I checked in the office behind the desk -- no one was in there either. I wasn't quite sure what to do... I rocked the seat a bit, tried to comfort without touching the baby (and while holding my 3.5 year old daughter in one arm -- she was upset by the crying baby too). Then I took my daughter with me through the door and into the daycare and informed the nearest teacher that there was a tiny baby unattended and crying at the desk.

As the teacher and I (and my kid) went toward the front desk, a woman walked by, swung the car seat handle up over her arm, and left. I assume that was the baby's mother, and that she had left the baby behind the front desk when she took her other kid(s) back to their rooms in the daycare.

I assume, as well, that the staff usually at the front desk weren't there when the mom put the baby behind the desk, or that the staff wouldn't leave such a tiny baby unattended no matter what.

Frankly, the incident really bothered me. While nothing happened other than the baby cried (although to me, that's bad enough!), something really bad *could* have happened. I did inform a teacher about the baby being left unattended -- should I also inform the daycare's director?

"Friends" you don't feel good about...

My daughter is loving preschool and I'm starting to like it too but there is one girl I'm really concerned about. My daughter plays with this girl on and off and the things my daughter tells me concerns me, plus what I see. This other girl just doesn't act very nice. The first time I met her she was draging my daughter by her arm around the class and when I told her and my daughter that it was time for us to leave she death griped my daughter's legs and just hung on, even after I picked my three year old daughter up. She's actually a year older than my daughter too if that matters. I didn't care for it but let it go. Then my daughter tells me a couple days later how she's upset because this girl put my daughter's puppy on fire. I was puzzeled until I got further explaination and it was that it was my daughter's pretend puppy that the other girl put on fire and was serving for "dinner". It was also that same day that this other girl told my daughter that my daughter's Dad was dead. I reassured my daughter that her Dad is not dead and struggled to explain that my daughter doesn't need to play with the other girl if she's not playing nice. That she can take her imaginary puppy off the fire and go somewhere else. I actually asked the other girl the next day about the puppy incident because it was easy to bring it up since she came over while I was with my daughter and her response was "It was just pretend." I just don't know what to do because this stuff keeps happening. Sometimes they are very friendly and doing fine and then things will happen like my daughter saying good by to her and she turns her head up with her chin sticking out and ignores my daughter or sticks out her tongue at her. Then she may or may not change her mind and yell "bye". I brought up the puppy incident and the Dad is dead incident to her teacher and was told that this girl's dad is dead so she may have been misunderstood... I'm not so sure having talking to the girl. She sort of reminds me of the psychopath in the movie "Girl Interupted" which doesn't make me feel good at all, but she's also only four so maybe I'm just overly concerned. But after talking to the teacher about it and being told that the teacher wants my daughter to learn to speak up to the girl about the situations so they can learn to resolve them, themselves... I talked to my daughter a little more about it and then the next day she told me that this girl put her "turtle" on fire and wouldn't let her take it off the fire. I asked my daughter what she did and she said she told the teacher and when she told the teacher the girl told the teacher that the turtle was a "vegetable turtle". I just hate all this going on, but I don't know what to do. Somedays my daughter comes home and tells me her and this girl are friends again, or that they aren't friends anymore, and really I want to tell my daughter to stay the heck away from this girl, but I'm not sure that is right either... What would P101 do?

Edited to add one more situation:

Recently a situation at a party at the school happened. It started off with the girl coming up to my daughter with an electric candle that had been used at the pumpkin walk at the school and telling my daughter she was going to burn her. My daughter got very upset and came to us about it. We told her that it wasn't a real candle and the girl couldn't really hurt her but to stay away from her if she won't play nice. If the burning puppy or turtle is just a meat eating aspect what is this? Both my husband and I were very upset after this had happened, and while the other girl came back later and said she was just playing I don't find that okay at all.

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