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hi there! just a couple of questions to ask around:
1. what do you do when your toddler pees in the bathtub while taking a bath?

2. what do you teach your little girl to call her private parts?

thanks a whole bunch! ^_^



( 95 comments — Leave a comment )
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Oct. 23rd, 2008 04:51 pm (UTC)
I never worry about pee in the tub. I have a little boy and once while chilling in the tub, he peed right in his own face! He wasn't fazed in the least. He hated that I wiped his face with the washcloth! =)

I personally have no problems with using cutesy names for private parts. We call his penis his 'winker' (or 'wink' for short) but we also call his feet 'piggers' so I don't see the difference. My mom used a cute name for our genital area and I still figured out the actual anatomical names. Sometimes people can get bent out of shape about that kind of stuff.

I'm just always reminded of the scene in Kindergarten Cop whenever this conversation is brought up:

"Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina!"

"Thanks for the tip!"
Oct. 23rd, 2008 04:59 pm (UTC)
1. laugh, if i notice it
2. i dont have a girl, but if i did, we'd call it vagina
Oct. 23rd, 2008 05:18 pm (UTC)
I think it's extremely important for children to grow up knowing the names for their body parts. My mom always called our female parts our "butt" and it really confused us when we were young, and now that we're older it's embarrassing for us to say penis and vagina around her. It shouldn't be embarrassing.

Anyway, I have a friend who calls her baby's vagina her "goodies". UGH. I think that's awful and gross. And I always think of that song "My Goodies" whenever she says it.
Oct. 23rd, 2008 06:00 pm (UTC)
I don't really see why people are all "OMG IT'S SOOOOOO IMPORTANT not to use 'silly' words for anatomical parts!!!!11"

Why, exactly? It's not like girls will NEVER LEARN that their "hoohoos" are called vulvas or vaginas. It's not like boys will grow up to be 35 and tell their doctors, "My tinkler has been sore lately" or "My leelee seems inflamed."

So yeah, I think sometimes certain nicknames for your parts are just dumb or even embarrassing, but seriously, what's the harm in calling it a "pee pee" when they're 2?

I call my 12-month-old daughter's whole area her "bum bum" right now, especially because she likes to repeat it back to me and she sounds adorable. :) Later on, I will call it her bottom. When I was little, I called my parts my "front bottom."
Oct. 23rd, 2008 06:17 pm (UTC)
Because 2 year olds, sadly, can be molested, and doubt can be placed on the validity of what they have to say when they cannot express themselves in a way that can be understood outside of the family. Pee pee is one thing, but calling everything front and back a "bottom" (without the "front" and "back" modifiers) or using silly words like cookie or bajingo or duffa doesn't do anyone any good.

We don't teach children to use slang words for their arms or toes or hair, why their genitals? It's a silly holdover from a puritanical belief that certain body parts are so scandalous that proper people wouldn't dare ever say the words, even a doctor speaking to a patient. But it's not 1870 any more.
Oct. 23rd, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
well said!
Oct. 23rd, 2008 07:44 pm (UTC)
Sadly, though, a lot of kids who are molested are taught those slang terms by their molesters. They might know, "This is my privates," but if Uncle Fred or whoever is touching them inappropriately is talking about petting the kitty, they're probably going to tell the CPS worker that Uncle Fred pets their kitty, regardless of how many times mommy and daddy refer to it as "vulva."

It's why "show me on the doll where he touched you" is such a staple in molestation cases.
Oct. 23rd, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
I don't think there is anything wrong with using slang words for a kid's parts, as long as you're also using the proper terms. I do think it's more difficult to do this with girls than with boys, because boys have basically two parts they're going to refer to... but a girl, what are you going to say? "Well, three-year-old, this bit is your labia majora, this is your labia minora, this is your vagina, this is your clitoris..." It's almost like you can't really over simplify it, because that's bad, but you can't get into that much detail because they're not really paying that much attention, anyway.

I think the main thing for both sexes is to really stress, "This is your penis, it is a private part," "this is your vagina, it is a private part." If you take your kid to the pediatrician and they say, "my private parts hurt," the doctor is going to know what they're talking about. Likewise, a CPS worker is going to know what that means, too.
(no subject) - thiscantbesoy - Oct. 23rd, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gwynethfar - Oct. 23rd, 2008 08:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - thiscantbesoy - Oct. 23rd, 2008 08:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gwynethfar - Oct. 23rd, 2008 08:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 23rd, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
I say, "Look! You're going peepee!" then finish the bath as usual. I figured if I pointed it out to them enough while they were young they'd be able to associate the feeling with the word and hopefully that would help with potty training. Don't know if it actually works, but it can't hurt! :o)

We usually call it a pee pee or privates for now. I'll teach them the proper names when they're a bit older.
Oct. 23rd, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
My first is due next week, so I don't have any first-hand advice, but I intend on using the proper anatomical names with my children, but I'll probably encourage them to say something like "privates" if we're in public or whatever. This'll be more for my family's benefit than anything; I think if my father-in-law heard his grandchild say penis or vagina in public, he'd hit the floor!

Still, I don't plan on being a total control freak about it. A lot of the time kids come up with their own names for things, anyway; I'm not going to get all worked up if my son starts saying weiner intead of penis.
Oct. 23rd, 2008 06:13 pm (UTC)
I think peeing in the tub is just par for the course.

As for anatomical terms, we've chosen to use the proper ones. Girls have vulvas, (and more within their vulvas which we explain if they ask, to spare them thinking that their clitoris is their uterus, which I did as a young girl) and our boys have penises and scrotums. (And I worry about all these little girls who are being taught that their vulvas are their vaginas.)
Oct. 23rd, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
Or thinking that their clitoris is their penis. My husband's niece has grown up calling it her "girl penis" because-- and this is the stupidest thing ever-- when she was born, they didn't want to tell their three-year-old son that girls have different parts than boys. Rather than not bathing them together or changing her out of sight, they decided they would just raise the kids to believe their parts are exactly the same... that the girl has a "girl penis" and the vagina is part of her butt.
Oct. 23rd, 2008 08:14 pm (UTC)
That's disgusting.
(no subject) - gwynethfar - Oct. 23rd, 2008 08:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jenn_possible - Oct. 26th, 2008 05:13 am (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 23rd, 2008 06:30 pm (UTC)
1. Nothing.

2. I have a boy. We say penis and balls. He actually picked up 'balls' from Daddy saying "Careful of my balls" when he was climbing on Daddy's lap. So it wasn't planned. If I had a girl I would say vagina. A lot of people I know say vulva but I don't really like that word--it seems too general and sounds too much like Volvo. But if I had a girl I would do some soul-searching to try to adjust to it since it is technically accurate when referring to the whole shebang. I also like the word 'yoni' but not its counterpart 'lingam.'
Oct. 23rd, 2008 06:47 pm (UTC)
We use "crotch" as a term for the girls' vulva/vagina/labia, because if it's bothering her, she doesn't yet know WHICH part is bothering her, just that it's not her butt, it's the front stuff. I've told her the names, and we use them sometimes, but mostly, if she's been playing with herself too much or whatnot, she'll just say, "My crotch hurts."

I've never noticed either of my kids peeing in the bathtub. My litter one use to pee on the floor outside the tub, as I was running the bath. I always say and sign "toilet" "potty" or "Pee" when I notice them peeing if they are pre-toilet trained, to help them become more aware of their bodies. My 4 year old always gets out of the bath if she has to pee. At least, I THINK it's "always." She always insists on getting out of the pool to pee too. I bet the younger one will be the pool pee-er.
Oct. 23rd, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
I'm a horrible person, and I use the words "wiener" and "wee-wee" and "dingle" in conjunction with "penis" when referring to my son's genitals, so I'm guessing I'll probably do the same with my daughter when she gets here. I find genitals super funny, so I use slang even when referring to my own bits at times. I would not be surprised if my daughter grew up calling her vagina by its proper name, but also saying "vagoo" or "chocha" or "my down there" a lot.

I think I tend to use jokey names with my son about his bits because if you can joke about something, you're more comfortable with it, and I want my kids to be comfortable with their bodies, almost to the point of rampant immodesty.

As for peeing in the bath, I have no idea. My son has taken showers basically his entire life, because he's always had a mortal fear of standing water. I think he took two baths in the kitchen sink when he learned to sit up, but the bathtub is not okay by him, even now at nearly six.
Oct. 23rd, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC)
I've never noticed when she pees in the tub, and it doesn't bother me even if she does.

I've been teaching my 16 month old that it's her peepee. Mommy and Daddy have peepee's too. When she's a little older (maybe 2 or 3), and can better say the names and differentiate between the two, I'll tell her that the proper names are penis and vagina...but I don't care if she still calls it a peepee.
Oct. 23rd, 2008 08:59 pm (UTC)
I have a six month old, I figure peeing in the tub is par for the course...though she often gets a shower with Papa, and peeing in the shower is different.

On the second question...I worked with children for a long time, and in that role, I was a mandated child abuse reporter. Trying to discern from a small child that he or she is being harmed by an adult is very difficult. It's even more so when someone says to you "Uncle Bob touched my supercalifragilisticexpealidocious" and you have to figure out what that actually means and whether that's something you need to report. My daughter is too young to talk about her parts herself,but right now we use the terms "vulva" and "vagina" when we talk about her parts. More often it's things like "Naomi, please stop pinching your vulva so I can put your diaper on" although today it was "Let me take the caterpillar out of your vulva so I can put your diaper on." (It was a stuffed caterpillar toy that she grabbed and was waving around and holding between her legs so she could beat on it while I was grabbing a diaper.)
Oct. 23rd, 2008 11:39 pm (UTC)
1. by the time they're a toddler, haven't they peed in enough baths that you're over it already?

2. "hey-nanner-nanner" or "most intimate of areas".
Oct. 24th, 2008 01:20 am (UTC)
1. Nothing.
2. Uh, vagina?
Oct. 24th, 2008 01:40 am (UTC)
1. Unavoidable at some ages. I keep washing them and get them out. If they are able to hold it then I let child know that pee goes into the potty.
2. I don't know about you but, I have a VAGINA and so does my daughter :D
Oct. 24th, 2008 02:18 am (UTC)
my SIL had planned to call her son's privates their proper names, but her husband just one day for a joke called it his "Mr. Happy" and it stuck. We actually bought him a shirt at Target that said "Mr. Happy" with a giant yellow smiley face, and every time he wears it he says "Mr. Happy is my penis." It's the cutest thing ever.
Oct. 24th, 2008 04:30 am (UTC)
Boys have a penis and testicles. Girls have vulvas.
Oct. 24th, 2008 12:16 pm (UTC)
1. I do nothing, pee isn't going to hurt anything.

2. Vagina. But the letter 'V' was hard for my daughter at first, so she kept saying 'Bagina' It was quite funny.
Nov. 8th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC)
1. Nothing. It's just pee...
2. The proper name. Don't confuse her with the cutesy crap.
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