My son is four years old, and he still hasn't figured out how to poop in a toilet. He's been peeing on his own for over a year. For poop, he'll go and grab a pull-up, put it on, and stay in the bathroom until I come to wipe him. He doesn't need reminding for either of these*. He also wants to try being night-trained. This is on his own initiative -- we tried one night of sleeping in his underwear, and he managed to stay dry until the morning (when he ended up wetting the bed). He wants to try again tonight.
But for some reason he can't poop in the toilet. If we try to convince him to sit on the toilet, he freaks out and starts crying. We've even told him he can wear his pull-up and then sit down and poop, but he doesn't want to do that either. He needs to stand. On a few occasions, he's tried to poop on the potty, and he hasn't been able to do it. I've even asked him "when you poop in your pull-up, how does the poop come out?" He says "I squeeze my bottom." But he says when he squeezes his bottom on the potty, the poop doesn't come out. We've tried giving him incentives (candy, a cool toy that he can't open until he poops in the potty). He's even tried to give himself some deadlines (I'll poop in the potty when we go to grandma's house), only to back out at the last minute. We've even had to leave places so we could go home and poop because he can't do it in a toilet**. He tends to go either early in the morning, or late afternoon, when we are likely to be at home. He's never had an accident at school. He also probably holds it in a lot, because if we're out all day he won't go.
* I do tend to remind him to pee just because he prefers to do the pee-pee dance rather than just suck it up and stop playing. But he CAN go on his own when he needs to, and he's fine at school.
** I used to keep a pull-up in the diaper bag along with the baby's stuff, but we ran out and I never replaced it.
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- Won't poop in a toilet