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Cloth Diapers & Potty Training

We need some advice about next steps as we think about potty training our cloth diapered toddler. We've been using bumgenius all-in-ones for the last two years and loved them. Daycare has asked us to think about transitioning her to pull-ups. So I have a few questions:
1. Did you find pull-ups necessary, or were you able to transition your child straight to underwear by waiting until they were ready
2. If you did use pull-ups, can you offer advice about pull-ups v. training pants and brands you recommend?
3. If you did get cloth pull-ups and/or training pants, how many pairs did you need? (We've made it two years with 24 diapers, the thought of buying another 24 pairs for just a couple of months seems annoying!)

Thanks!

Update and Fuller Backstory

First of all, thank you everyone for your replies to my previous post. The last time Finn had hit a cat was the day I posted (4/17) and we haven't had an incident since. We have:

-Reintroduced his responsibility chart which includes a "happy face" for "hands to yourself" which he knows very much includes the feline portion of our family. If he gets all the happy faces for one day he gets chocolate. He's REALLY into this. He's voluntarily cleaning the house even.
-My husband and I agreed to show as little emotion as possible when he hits a cat (hard for both of us). Whoever's attention he's trying to get (my about 80% of the time) takes said cat into the bedroom for 5-10 minutes. The other parent doesn't play with him and keeps interactions at a minimum until the cat leaves the bedroom.

Thinking it all over though, this is a symptom to an underlying issue we've had with Finn. I didn't want to get into it because it's kind of a long story, but getting this problem under control is really only treating a symptom, not the root cause and I'm a little uncertain how to get to the root cause here. I think I'm going to talk to his ped again in the near future but in the meanwhile if any of you want to hear the whole thing and offer your advice....

The whole storyCollapse )

Apr. 20th, 2015

I am sure similar situations to mine have been posted before but I am at a loss as to what to do. My daughter has never been the laid-back type - she had reflux as an infant, has always had sleep issues - we live in a small house and my husband and I went from spending our evenings binge-watching TV shows on Netflix to sitting in the living room whispering to one another or, worse, listening to music on our phones with headphones on for fear of waking her up.

She is very sweet and loving. And she has always been stubborn and strong willed - she would obsess about things and once she got hooked on an object or topic it was hard to remove her from that - but since she has turned three it has magnified First of all, the attitude, which I know comes with age. But nothing makes her happy. Nothing satisfies her. I should probably point out here that she is an only child. I am literally petrified that I am raising a spoiled brat. But beyond that - I literally can't take her anywhere. It ALWAYS ends in a fight. Grocery store because she didn't get a balloon. Library because she wants to play more. Running into a restaurant to pick up take out and she cries because she wants to stay there and eat. And the obsessing. We went to a birthday party for my grandmother yesterday and she knew there was a fish tank at the personal care home and she was so focused (and that's an understatement) on that the whole time she was literally beating on the doors to get to it, she wouldn't eat or visit with anyone (and yes, we did take her to see it more than once).

She doesn't seem to "get" rules, when you get down to her level and talk to her like "In our house we don't do such and such" she doesn't even hear it. Sticker charts mean nothing. I just did one for the potty - she is mostly potty trained although she sometimes has several tiny accidents a day for reasons I can't understand (though she never poops her pants or completely pees herself). When I made the chart she put the stickers on and got her prizes but it didn't really motivate her.

I had a breakdown this week when I picked her up from my in-laws and had a Mike Wazowski (she loves Monsters Inc) sitting in her car seat waiting for her and she threw it aside and said "I don't want this!!!" I feel like I am failing miserably as a mother. Maybe I didn't hold her enough as a baby - when she had reflux we had to put her down in a reclining seat as soon as she was done eating so she didn't throw up. Maybe I am not taking her enough places to get acclimated to being out and about. I know she doesn't get enough socialization. I am going back to work this week and she should be starting daycare soon which opens a whole new bag of worries and fears - for me. I know most of them are not valid. But lately I can't stand her and that adds to the guilt and it's an endless cycle! Before I buy a book I thought I'd come here first for free advice.

Apr. 17th, 2015

I have a problem with my 4.5 year old son.

He doesn't like my attention straying from him AT ALL. Unless he has a friend over or a grandparent or something like that, he wants me to be paying complete and total attention to him at all times. And if my attention wanders, even for a second, he hits or kicks one of our cats. Our cats have claws but all three are surprisingly gentle to him despite the abuse (and our pep talks to them to scratch him back.)

I mean if I'm peeing, eating, noticing a flower...he's hurting a cat. He knows I'll respond and the kicker is, I have to respond to prevent the cat from getting hurt.

He used to also hit me, months and month back, but I managed to stop that by walking away/leaving the room/leaving the house or, if he got really bad, shutting him in his room (I'd stay on the other side and explain once he calmed down that it was my job to keep everyone in the house safe, including myself and will separate him in his room if he was being unsafe with me.)

Otherwise, no aggression with other children. No aggression at school (though we did go through a period of time where he hit the teachers about a year ago, that passed quickly though). No aggression to other people's pets. And it is ALWAYS to get my attention. If he has someone over, he more or less completely ignores the cats.

I'm just at a loss to do here. I know I'm feeding it everytime I step it, but I'm in a bind because I also need to prevent him from hurting the cats.

To add to my concern, we're having a baby in early July (this has been going on before he knew I was pregnant).

Vomiting after swimming

My 15 month old and I are in parent/tot swimming class. She loves to put her face in the water and blow bubbles. However, this means she's swallowing quite a bit of water. After the first two classes, she vomited once when we got home and was fine after. Last night she vomited when we got home again, then twice again during the night. She seems better this morning and is able to keep some liquid (bm) down. I'm trying to figure out if she has a virus that I need to be concerned about her sister catching or if this is due to swallowing the pool water. Have your kids puked that much after swimming?

Postpartum? (Bit of a read)

I had a very rough pregnancy. I was sick the entire time except for about one month where I actually felt wonderful. I actually ended up losing a lot of weight because I was always sick and worried both my doctor and husband. I worked all the way up to the day before I was supposed to be induced. My labor was all back labor but once my little one finally made her grand debut, I was completely in love. I went back to work just shy of three weeks after having her and my husband has stayed home with her ever since. My precious daughter is now a healthy and very happy 5 month old. I couldn't ask for a more perfect child.

In the last few days I've noticed I've become exceptionally depressed. I don't want to go to work but keep convincing myself I need to go (I'm the only income in the house). I'm stressed with all of these responsibilities and know that I need to file for bankruptcy and aid, which kills my pride. I feel like I'm failing everyone and just want to stay home with my daughter. I took the last day and a half off from work just to try to overcome these feelings. With lots of hugs and smiles and some sleep, I'm feeling a little perkier today but fear it's only temporary. Any suggestions or advice? Am I crazy or just hormonal?

Ongoing sickness...

Hi team,

Sorry in advance for a l o n g post.

My daughter turned two a month ago and has been sick since her birthday.

A week before her birthday we started at a new preschool, longer hours, so I know she picked up some bugs from being in a new environment and around new kids but this seems - well - horrible.

At first she had a really nasty bug for about three weeks that she just couldn't shake - the worst I've ever seen her have, actually. And my mum was here on holiday at the time and caught it and also went down really hard. I took my daughter to the Doctor after 2.5 weeks and the doctor said no doubt it was viral: blocked nose, bad cough, aching, sore tummy, headache (she was telling me "tummy sore" etc, and my mum confirmed the same), vomiting, diarrhea, etc. She also had an ear infection (that makes 6 in the last year), so I was prescribed anti-biotics that lasted a week.

As we got to the end of the anti-biotics she seemed to be coming right, and for about four days I thought she was well.

However, then she got another bug. This one also including cold symptoms (almost like the flu), and vomiting. She then again started telling me "sore tummy", "sore ears", etc.
I took her to the doctor last Wednesday and was told she had Glue ear. The doctor guessed she also has a bad cold, and likely either hayfever or asthma. The doctor thinks that the vomiting is only happening because her chest is so congested and her airways are narrow so she's vomiting to get out flem etc.

I, personally, didn't grow up around asthma so I have no experience with it. She's been given an inhaler and she is pretty good at using it but honestly - I'm not sure it's helping. I think it's too hard to know.

On top of this:
- I'm starting to wonder if she has a UTI. A month ago I would have said she was fully potty trained - awesome at telling me when she needed to go, very few accidents, etc. But now all of a sudden she WILL NOT tell me EVER that she needs to go, despite NOT hating the toilet etc.
- She's being REALLY clingy towards her dummy (pacifier) and cuddly. She pretty much will not put them down.
- Her attitude has been appalling. I'm trying to make allowances for her feeling potentially unwell, and I guess I'm aware of the possibility of "The terrible Twos" but I mean, she fights me on ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. I feel like this is NOT MY KID (not the version of her that I know).

What are your thoughts on this? Anyone have any idea what this could possibly be? or Advice?
Is this just "par for the course" with the terrible twos attitude + sickness? Do you think Asthma could be the reason for how sick she is? General tips on how to get through it!?!? :-p

I have a new job and taking this much time off DOES NOT look good, and it doesn't help her adjust to the new preschool.
Should I be pushing for more tests at the Doctor? I hate to be one of *those* mums who thinks there is all these things wrong with their (probably pretty normal) kid, so I tend to under-react whenever possible.
But now that it's been a month of sickness, mood swings, accidents - I feel at a bit of a loss.


Thanks in advance team.

Dentist for toddler

Quick post! I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and I'm thinking I should bring along my fifteen month old? She's absolutely horrible with letting me brush and I'm a freaky about teeth. One of my worst fears is that she has my teeth AND I caused them to be worse with my inability to brush her teeth. She's got 10, including top and bottom molars.

Ah I'm rambling. When should be the earliest you take a kid into the dentist? Ours is a family friend so that makes things easier. I brush in front of her every day...And we sing the raffi song that are loves but it's screaming when I brush. :( maybe her gums are sore?

I noticed plaque build up on the back of her lower bottom and tried using tooth brush and wet paper towel and still couldn't remove it. Nooo! Like I need it gone!!! Or am I overreacting? Again....a freak about teeth. Twice + a day for me and mine are still horrible! :(

...And the rambling continues

Shy toddler

Hi all, I am looking for some advice. My daughter is an only child, just turned 19 months. Over the last two months has become painfully shy. She used to be very at ease with strangers talking to her but she has started dropping her head down and staring at the floor until they go away if they just look at her. This week she did it with an activity leader she has been around for a long time. When they've gone she's back to normal playing and interacting with me no problem.

Developmentally everything seems to be on track and with family she is a very happy little thing with no problems maintaining eye contact or being social.

We have started two new groups recently and I wonder if this has overwhelmed her a bit. I'm a SAHM and shortly before I had her I moved to a new town so I have no friends with children living close by for her to see regularly. She has been going to softplay and Bounce and Rhyme weekly where she had interactions with other children and adults no problem, but the new groups are play based and she has had a few run ins with bigger kids.

Really I'm just wondering if this is normal behaviour and how I can help her overcome her shyness and be more at ease. Her father and I are not the most outgoing people ourselves so I did expect her to be a bit shy but staring at the floor with her head down when anyone tries to engage her seems a bit extreme!

Kindergarten and naps

For those with kids who have started school, did you wean them off of naps ahead of time? My 3.5 year old daughter will be starting pre-k full time in the fall (ahhhhhhh!!!) and she still naps, at least with me and with her grandparents.

However, kindergarten doesn't have a nap time and I'm torn on whether to try to wean out her naptime in preparation. What are your thoughts?

Two Questions

Okay, so (as always it seems) I have two questions.

1) My son is 3.5 years old and has only ever gone in the potty once. He simply REFUSES to have anything to do with the toilet. We have read books on potty training and we have watched videos. Every few months or so we come back to it and recently he just lost it. He threw the books, screamed no potty, it was a nightmare. He would be content to sit in his poop and pee for DAYS if I would I let him. He wants NOTHING to do with it. He has the necessary language skills to comprehend and communicate with regards to the potty. I'm losing my mind. Everyone tells me to back off and not push it, but this is getting ridiculous. We have tried EVERYTHING. Underwear, pull ups, special potties, stools for the large potty, bribery treats, you name it. I have read and consumed everything on potty training that there is. I know they say that they say they'll be ready when they're ready, but honestly, at this rate, his baby sister is going to be potty trained before he is.

2) Which brings me to question 2. My daughter is 17 months old and is a shrieker. This morning I had a complete breakdown because we asked to leave a McDonald's (with a play place) because of the amount of racket she was making. This is nothing new. I cannot take her anywhere without stares or being asked to leave. The only place I take her to anymore is to the park. I feel awful for my 3 year old (since our options have become extremely limited) but I'm sick of getting kicked out of places (no matter how kid friendly) because of her shrieking. It isn't crying or screaming, it is loud, piercing (think ear shattering) shrieking. I think she just likes to hear the sound of her voice, but it is driving me nuts. She does know how to sign for the basics (milk, food, more, diaper, etc.) so I don't think communication is a part of it.

I'm going absolutely nuts.

race and toddlers

Hi all. I have a question about how you all introduced the concept of race, skin color, and diversity in general with your toddler. I'm probably overthinking things, but I'm looking for some feedback.

We try to get our three-year-old daughter dolls of different races to introduce her to the idea of diversity. She has never mentioned skin color as of yet, so we haven't either. We figure it will come up naturally since she has several teachers and classmates at preschool who are black, Asian, and Indian. We are white.

Last week I gave her a black Cabbage Patch Kid, and introduced her to our daughter with the name she came with (CPK dolls come with birth certificates with names). Within an hour, she had decided to call the doll "Miss Elaina" (the name of the little black girl in the Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood cartoon). She has never changed the name of any of her caucasian Cabbage Patch Kids, and I didn't quite know how to handle the situation.

I know she loves the doll. She chose to bring her as her one toy for an upcoming plane trip, so I am not concerned about her forming any negative opinions about the doll's skin color. What do you all think-- should I directly discuss with her that this new doll is "different" in any way than some of her other dolls, as her name change suggests she has noticed? How did you bring up the concept of race with your young children while promoting diversity?

Traveling without baby

How young was your child the first time you spent night(s) away? We are considering an us-only vacation over Memorial Day out of the country. Our baby will be 10.5 months. Are we crazy? Terrible parents?

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Sleep question

First some background,  my 4yo stayed in a crib happily until she was about 28 months when we transitioned her to a toddler bed, which she slept on quite happily for more then a year.  Then comes a big huge change in our lives, we moved a 2 day drive from where we had lived previously.  Do to space constraints we left the toddler bed behind, as well as the changing table and some other "baby" furniture.  We had some stops and starts and ended up staying with my in-laws for a few months, during which time she slept in a bed with me.  When we finally got to Texas, we put her in a twin bed, and let her pick out her bedding etc... She would get out of bed and come into my room at night for a few months, then she seemed to decide her bed was better, but now she wants to sleep on the floor in a nest of blankets, and even when I offer to make her a "nest" on the bed she refuses.  So my question is should I get rid of her bed and just put the matress on the floor?  Or should I insist she sleep in her bed? Or another solution I haven't even thought of yet?

Zip back PJ's, anyone?

this is more for general discussion than to get an advise or anything. if anyone reading this does not live in the US, I would love to get some input as well.

PJs, night habits, and allCollapse )

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Picky Eater

Hi All!

My SO is moving in with me this coming weekend, and we will have custody of his 6 year old daughter for 2 weeks in a row every month. She is a very picky eater - she has some texture issues around food, and I have been struggling with what to feed her while she has spent weekends with us. She doesn't like foods that are too soft or too mushy. Ground beef is generally out of the question. We are still making her try everything at least 2 bites. Her mom also was a very picky eater when she was a kid, and passed a lot of that on to her daughter.

On top of that, she eats a lot - she is ALWAYS hungry about an hour after dinner. She burns off calories super quickly - is that normal for her age? She is very tall as well.

How do I help her through this? Any suggestions for dealing with a picky eater? Any picky-eater specific cookbooks?  I don't want to make more than one meal for the household, and I don't want to force the rest of us to eat chicken nuggets every day :P 

Potty training

Is it better to start with a small seat that sits on the floor or to use one that attaches to an adult toilet seat?

Just looking for personal stories and what worked better for you etc

Needing help with bad behavior.

I have a daughter that will be 3 on 3/14. Her behavior is awful here lately. We had been putting her in time out and that wasn't helping and then we tried spanking. That made her behavior worse so we went back to time outs. She refuses to sit there and if we hold her she screams, bites, pinches, and scratches till she gets loose. I know it wasn't a good ideal to change her punishments so much and so quickly. I also don't agree with spanking but I got tired of hearing my mom say if you'd just spank her she'd be better behaved. On top of this when we mention bed time or nap time she screams and cries till she falls asleep. It breaks my heart. I guess I'm here to see if I can gwt some guiedance to get her back on the right track. Any feedback is appericated.

Uncontrollable 3 year old

I need help. My 3.5 year old has always been a difficult child, but it's beyond a joke now. We have reached the point of never wanting to take him anywhere, because he WILL act up. It's not even a maybe. Today we tried to have an early dinner at a restaurant for my husband's birthday. He tantrumed because we gave him the 'wrong' seat, because it's not possible to make a paper plane from a napkin, because his brother guessed wrong on i-spy. If you don't answer him IMMEDIATELY he shrieks at full volume. Didn't help that this obviously led to a conversation between the staff about how they were punished (beaten) as a kid. They could at least have had it out of earshot. This happens a lot though. Comments on the bus when he doesn't get the seat he wants, or from passers by when he screams because I made him hold my hand crossing the road. It is constant and I can't cope any more.

Feb. 21st, 2015

Hi all. Our baby is 7m2w and probably 23 lbs. Big boy. Lugging his infant carrier around sucks but the idea of having to strap him into a seat from the side seems difficult (or, at least, I'm not used to it). But he seems young - he can sit upright for about 8 seconds before toppling over without support, etc.
I know it also means a new stroller and theoretically buying TWO car seats (as opposed to one infant plus two bases) so I'm just not sure what to do.
Can you share your experiences? Thanks.

And as always a pic for those who like babies.

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