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My three year old can't make up his mind

For the last couple of weeks my three year old has exceeded the patience levels of my husband and myself. I am the first to admit that I don't have a lot of patience to begin with, but my husband has the patience of a saint and if he has hit his limit, that tells me that things are pretty bad.

For example, this morning we went to Home Depot and he told me he wanted to wear his apron. Put it on. He starting screaming bloody murder that he wanted it off. Took it off. Started screaming bloody murder he wanted it on. (At which point I refused to put it back on.) We ended up having to leave because he had a huge meltdown. He does this with EVERYTHING. He wants shoes, no he doesn't, he wants sandals, no he wants his shoes.

After about a week my husband and I identified that he has been doing this with EVERYTHING, so we put a stop to it. (or tried too). He asks for sneakers. He put his sneakers on. He pitches a fit that he wants sandals. Too bad. Your sneakers are on your feet and they are staying.

We thought that by putting our foot down it would solve our issues. It hasn't. If anything things have gotten worse.

I'm absolutely at the end of my rope. His behavior HAS to change. I just have no idea what we're supposed to do. Like I said, my husband has the patience of a saint and even he refuses to take our son anywhere at this point.

Toddler bed

When did you switch from a crib to a toddler bed?

Advice? Tips? Should have waited? Should have done earlier? Thanks!!

Face painting

We went to the outdoor shopping mall last Thursday, and there was a party there we didn't know about. Among other things, there was a girl there painting faces for free. Unfortunately, we came a little too late, and she was about done. My 3-year-old had a huge meltdown about not having her face painted.
Today, we went to the zoo and ran into another face painting booth. To paint one eye cost us $10. Which is fine if it's done once in a blue moon... but now, my daughter demands the face painting all the time. (Can't blame her: she looks really darn cute with it.)
My question is, does anyone know a good tutorial on face painting and maybe a good brand of paints that can be used on kids' faces? One thing to consider is, I cannot draw a friggin' daisy for my life, and I hate drawing to begin with (ah, the things we do in the name of motherhood).
I promise to not turn this into a profitable business to rip parents off. This is strictly for home use.

Dealing with a night owl pre schooler

Background, we have a normal bedtime routine it has been our routine for Years and works very well with DD1 and seemed to work for DD2 until recently. She's 4.5 and isn't falling asleep until nearly 11 even on days when I have to get her up by 7:30 and we have a full day. I've tried the quiet in your bed etc. It doesn't work for her. She has recently started kicking the wall randomly in the middle of the night and also, if I have her in bed by 8 gets up 6-7 times before 11 to "go potty" (pretty sure this is because the ONLY reason to get out of bed after bedtime in our house is to go potty).

We have had a big change in our house recently (my brother in law moved in with us) but the night owl behavior started before this.

I'm not a night owl, I routinely wake up around 5:30, I'm getting tired of not having the 2 hours of time between my girls bedtime and when I go to bed for snuggles with my hubby, so..any ideas? Any other early birds dealing with a night owl child?
(Side note hubby is a night owl and only wakes up at 8 to ge!tready!for work because he has to.)

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Night time potty training

My daughter is 4 and still uses pull ips at night. She still wets her pull up during the night. Do I wait till she starts having dry pull ups before seitching to panties at night? Or just make the switch now?

Scheduling a birthday party

I'm looking for opinions here.  We are planning on having my daughter's 3rd party on a Sunday in a couple of weeks, but can't decide on the time.  Almost all of the invitees are 3-4, parents are invited to stay, and we don't mind feeding them properly.  If you were the parent of one of the guests, what time would suit you best?  We are thinking 11am - 1pm, but maybe that is weird?

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Protective bike gear for infant

I'm looking at getting a bike this year. I have a 6 month old baby that I'd like/have to bring along when I go for a ride. I know of those jogging strollers that you can hitch to the bike but I can't currently afford both the stroller and my bike, so I was looking at those baby seats you attach to the back of the bike.

My questions are - do I need to buy protective gear for the baby? And do you use one of those seats and can recommend a specific brand/type?

Summers

I have two children, 9-year-old boy and 4-year-old girl, and their father and I aren't together anymore. In the last couple years our son has spent the majority of the summer with him; would come home for the "vacations" we had planned, and then go back. Their dad wants to have our daughter now for a lot of the summer and I feel like she's too young for that, not to mention she's a COMPLETE momma's girl. Whenever they're set to go for a weekend, she never wants to. She's fine when she gets there but after a while is like okay, I wanna go back to mom now. What are your thoughts on the appropriate age for this??

Books for kids

... or Help Me with School Again Please.

So, the assignment is to find at least 3 books appropriate for children age 0 to 8 on the given topics. All I need is the name of the book and author (I will find the rest of information for bibliography myself).

Here are the topics:

  1. Cultural or linguistic group identity

  2. Gender Identity

  3. Children with Special Needs

  4. Separation/Divorce/Remarriage/Blended Families

  5. Phases of the cycle of life from human reproduction to death

  6. If you have any other important topic in mind, please, shoot at me.

I have until June 14 to complete it, and meanwhile I will sit on my ass waiting for your ideas look through the books I got from the family I used to work for and see if I find something interesting there (and we got a bunch).

Thank you in advance.

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Cord Blood Banking

I'm asking for a friend who has herself in a bit of a panic about cord blood.


Has anyone done cord blood banking and been able to wait until the cord stopped pulsing? Were you told you had to clamp it immediately, and if so - do you think it affected the health of your baby in any way?

Daycare/preschool

This got long! Background stuff.Collapse )

Basically, when my daughter turns 2 in late November there is a program she can join at the school she will likely be attending. From what I understand, it's just a day care that you can put your kid in for half a day. I think you can put them in all week, but at the moment my husband wants her to start one afternoon a week. I've sort of agreed to it, but I'm not really sure there's any real need. I've never left her with strangers because I haven't had to, and I'm not really keen on doing it for no real reason. She is perfectly happy being away from me, she has "friends" at her playgroups, and I have "mommy friends" that we do play dates with. I don't really understand my husband (and his family's) insistence that she needs this.

I think I've always just thought that the longer a kid could be taken care of by family, the better. My husband's family seems to be the opposite - the sooner you can get the kid out of the house, the better. And I don't mean that in a negative way, just that they think kids and parents are better off when kids go for out of home care.

I guess I just want to hear what other people have done and what others think. Am I weird for not wanting her to go to a day care? Is it important that she be away from family?

Biting

My 19 month old daughter has a bad temper. In the last month or so she's started to get quite upset when she can't get her own way. This is a normal reaction and a normal phase that kids go through. However, when she gets angry she bites. She will try to bite me and if I move her so that she can't get to the place she's trying to bite, she will try to bite somewhere else. She's try two or three times before finally biting herself, and as soon as she's done it, it seems that her tension just disappears.

When she loses her shit like this, I just talk to her calmly and try and hold her enough that she won't hurt herself, but not too much to piss her off further. I sometimes start singing to her, and that calms her down quite quickly usually.

But what I'm doing is just helping the immediate tantrum, it isn't helping the overall problem. I don't even know if there is a problem? Will she grow out of this? Will it get worse? Should I nip it in the bud? How should I do that? She can't talk so I can't have a conversation with her to try and resolve things. Will this frustration go away when she can say more? Or will it get worse?

Hitting

It's been about 5-6weeks now that my daughter is with sitters - first for us. One day a week with a friend from preschool - it's aplaydate feel. Two days of week she's with just asitter. She's, the sitter, been amazing. We are all happy. It has though been exhausting for her, this new change in life and has been a true champ.

This past Thursday, daughter (almost 5years old) was probably exhausted and something triggered and she had a full meltdown on their way home from playground with sitter. She calmed down but at home something else triggered and it ended with daughter hitting the sitter.

Daughter completely denies this. Says sitter was mean and she never wants to see her again. The sitter shared in front of daughter what happened, at that time my kid never argued the story.

The triggers were, sitter asking daughter to use politeness when asking for something (she wanted something from her bag that sitter was helping to carry). And second one that led to greet hitting was she got home, grabbed a snack from shelf and was eating. She has food allergies and sitter wanted to make sure what she was eating was ok.

Since this is the first time we are experiencing this, am at a loss on what to do!  Help.

Sleeping gone

16 month old normally sleeps 12 hours a night with 3 hour nap from 12-3 every day.

Went on vacation for THREE days. She refused to sleep  at night and during the day.

Normal bed time is 630-7. Today we drive the three hours home starting at noon. She slept most of the way. Had dinner, bath, books and then absolute melt down. Melt. Down.

Actually...more closely to a panic attack. She did this while on vacation.

What can I do? Why is she freaking out? I get her freaking out at the hotel but now we're home. And before this she would sleep in her pack and play ANYWHERE.

Advice? What can I do to calm her down?

Eta...We let her cry it out for 15 minutes and she's asleep. After two hours of rocking, putting down, reading, putting down, cry it out then go in after five minutes and increasing time etc. Am I going to have to do that every night now? Do you think she just needs time to adjust? Will it cause more harm than good to let het flip her shit? She threw full blown temper tantrum...banging head...I've never ever seen her do this.

Also...Baby sitter is grandma and she constantly tells me how she never lets Beau play alone. Jokingly says "oh well we are in her face all day playing, I'm sure she wears you out when you're with her".....I'm wondering if we're seeing parenting styles clash? We want to put her in full time school type environment with other kids and more structure...is this my clue to make that jump? The free childcare thing is pretty awesome.




ETA ETA as of 730 5/11...she cried for 30 seconds at nap time and slept 2.5 hours and tonight she went to bed with NO issues! Back to normal! Thank you for the advice, it'll be good to have for the future!!

Cloth Diapers & Potty Training

We need some advice about next steps as we think about potty training our cloth diapered toddler. We've been using bumgenius all-in-ones for the last two years and loved them. Daycare has asked us to think about transitioning her to pull-ups. So I have a few questions:
1. Did you find pull-ups necessary, or were you able to transition your child straight to underwear by waiting until they were ready
2. If you did use pull-ups, can you offer advice about pull-ups v. training pants and brands you recommend?
3. If you did get cloth pull-ups and/or training pants, how many pairs did you need? (We've made it two years with 24 diapers, the thought of buying another 24 pairs for just a couple of months seems annoying!)

Thanks!

Update and Fuller Backstory

First of all, thank you everyone for your replies to my previous post. The last time Finn had hit a cat was the day I posted (4/17) and we haven't had an incident since. We have:

-Reintroduced his responsibility chart which includes a "happy face" for "hands to yourself" which he knows very much includes the feline portion of our family. If he gets all the happy faces for one day he gets chocolate. He's REALLY into this. He's voluntarily cleaning the house even.
-My husband and I agreed to show as little emotion as possible when he hits a cat (hard for both of us). Whoever's attention he's trying to get (my about 80% of the time) takes said cat into the bedroom for 5-10 minutes. The other parent doesn't play with him and keeps interactions at a minimum until the cat leaves the bedroom.

Thinking it all over though, this is a symptom to an underlying issue we've had with Finn. I didn't want to get into it because it's kind of a long story, but getting this problem under control is really only treating a symptom, not the root cause and I'm a little uncertain how to get to the root cause here. I think I'm going to talk to his ped again in the near future but in the meanwhile if any of you want to hear the whole thing and offer your advice....

The whole storyCollapse )

Apr. 17th, 2015

I have a problem with my 4.5 year old son.

He doesn't like my attention straying from him AT ALL. Unless he has a friend over or a grandparent or something like that, he wants me to be paying complete and total attention to him at all times. And if my attention wanders, even for a second, he hits or kicks one of our cats. Our cats have claws but all three are surprisingly gentle to him despite the abuse (and our pep talks to them to scratch him back.)

I mean if I'm peeing, eating, noticing a flower...he's hurting a cat. He knows I'll respond and the kicker is, I have to respond to prevent the cat from getting hurt.

He used to also hit me, months and month back, but I managed to stop that by walking away/leaving the room/leaving the house or, if he got really bad, shutting him in his room (I'd stay on the other side and explain once he calmed down that it was my job to keep everyone in the house safe, including myself and will separate him in his room if he was being unsafe with me.)

Otherwise, no aggression with other children. No aggression at school (though we did go through a period of time where he hit the teachers about a year ago, that passed quickly though). No aggression to other people's pets. And it is ALWAYS to get my attention. If he has someone over, he more or less completely ignores the cats.

I'm just at a loss to do here. I know I'm feeding it everytime I step it, but I'm in a bind because I also need to prevent him from hurting the cats.

To add to my concern, we're having a baby in early July (this has been going on before he knew I was pregnant).

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