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Night time potty training

My daughter is 4 and still uses pull ips at night. She still wets her pull up during the night. Do I wait till she starts having dry pull ups before seitching to panties at night? Or just make the switch now?

Scheduling a birthday party

I'm looking for opinions here.  We are planning on having my daughter's 3rd party on a Sunday in a couple of weeks, but can't decide on the time.  Almost all of the invitees are 3-4, parents are invited to stay, and we don't mind feeding them properly.  If you were the parent of one of the guests, what time would suit you best?  We are thinking 11am - 1pm, but maybe that is weird?


UTI? Something else? Paranoid mom?

My 3 year old was fine all day yesterday and out of nowhere around 7pm last night (while she was on the potty) started shrieking that her bum hurt. She wouldn't sit on the potty anymore, wouldn't poop or pee and wouldn't even sit down. She was extremely upset. I checked her out and didn't see any irritation. She fell asleep although we had a very restless night. This morning she peed fine, no complaints. I sent her to daycare and called to check up. They said she pooped and peed, no complaints, and had come in from outside several times to pee. This evening after we got home, she did mention a couple times that her bum hurt, but she did pee and poop fine (her poop was fairly big and hard). She is going to pee about every half hour which seems to be more than normal for her. So do you think she has a UTI? Constipated? I mean she pooped twice. Her pediatrician closed a half day early before I could call them today for advice and the local convenient care closes in an hour and I am so undecided on whether or not to take her. Yes, I am paranoid. But I just don't want another sleepless night. TIA for your input.

Protective bike gear for infant

I'm looking at getting a bike this year. I have a 6 month old baby that I'd like/have to bring along when I go for a ride. I know of those jogging strollers that you can hitch to the bike but I can't currently afford both the stroller and my bike, so I was looking at those baby seats you attach to the back of the bike.

My questions are - do I need to buy protective gear for the baby? And do you use one of those seats and can recommend a specific brand/type?


I have two children, 9-year-old boy and 4-year-old girl, and their father and I aren't together anymore. In the last couple years our son has spent the majority of the summer with him; would come home for the "vacations" we had planned, and then go back. Their dad wants to have our daughter now for a lot of the summer and I feel like she's too young for that, not to mention she's a COMPLETE momma's girl. Whenever they're set to go for a weekend, she never wants to. She's fine when she gets there but after a while is like okay, I wanna go back to mom now. What are your thoughts on the appropriate age for this??

Books for kids

... or Help Me with School Again Please.

So, the assignment is to find at least 3 books appropriate for children age 0 to 8 on the given topics. All I need is the name of the book and author (I will find the rest of information for bibliography myself).

Here are the topics:

  1. Cultural or linguistic group identity

  2. Gender Identity

  3. Children with Special Needs

  4. Separation/Divorce/Remarriage/Blended Families

  5. Phases of the cycle of life from human reproduction to death

  6. If you have any other important topic in mind, please, shoot at me.

I have until June 14 to complete it, and meanwhile I will sit on my ass waiting for your ideas look through the books I got from the family I used to work for and see if I find something interesting there (and we got a bunch).

Thank you in advance.


Cord Blood Banking

I'm asking for a friend who has herself in a bit of a panic about cord blood.

Has anyone done cord blood banking and been able to wait until the cord stopped pulsing? Were you told you had to clamp it immediately, and if so - do you think it affected the health of your baby in any way?


This got long! Background stuff.Collapse )

Basically, when my daughter turns 2 in late November there is a program she can join at the school she will likely be attending. From what I understand, it's just a day care that you can put your kid in for half a day. I think you can put them in all week, but at the moment my husband wants her to start one afternoon a week. I've sort of agreed to it, but I'm not really sure there's any real need. I've never left her with strangers because I haven't had to, and I'm not really keen on doing it for no real reason. She is perfectly happy being away from me, she has "friends" at her playgroups, and I have "mommy friends" that we do play dates with. I don't really understand my husband (and his family's) insistence that she needs this.

I think I've always just thought that the longer a kid could be taken care of by family, the better. My husband's family seems to be the opposite - the sooner you can get the kid out of the house, the better. And I don't mean that in a negative way, just that they think kids and parents are better off when kids go for out of home care.

I guess I just want to hear what other people have done and what others think. Am I weird for not wanting her to go to a day care? Is it important that she be away from family?


My 19 month old daughter has a bad temper. In the last month or so she's started to get quite upset when she can't get her own way. This is a normal reaction and a normal phase that kids go through. However, when she gets angry she bites. She will try to bite me and if I move her so that she can't get to the place she's trying to bite, she will try to bite somewhere else. She's try two or three times before finally biting herself, and as soon as she's done it, it seems that her tension just disappears.

When she loses her shit like this, I just talk to her calmly and try and hold her enough that she won't hurt herself, but not too much to piss her off further. I sometimes start singing to her, and that calms her down quite quickly usually.

But what I'm doing is just helping the immediate tantrum, it isn't helping the overall problem. I don't even know if there is a problem? Will she grow out of this? Will it get worse? Should I nip it in the bud? How should I do that? She can't talk so I can't have a conversation with her to try and resolve things. Will this frustration go away when she can say more? Or will it get worse?


It's been about 5-6weeks now that my daughter is with sitters - first for us. One day a week with a friend from preschool - it's aplaydate feel. Two days of week she's with just asitter. She's, the sitter, been amazing. We are all happy. It has though been exhausting for her, this new change in life and has been a true champ.

This past Thursday, daughter (almost 5years old) was probably exhausted and something triggered and she had a full meltdown on their way home from playground with sitter. She calmed down but at home something else triggered and it ended with daughter hitting the sitter.

Daughter completely denies this. Says sitter was mean and she never wants to see her again. The sitter shared in front of daughter what happened, at that time my kid never argued the story.

The triggers were, sitter asking daughter to use politeness when asking for something (she wanted something from her bag that sitter was helping to carry). And second one that led to greet hitting was she got home, grabbed a snack from shelf and was eating. She has food allergies and sitter wanted to make sure what she was eating was ok.

Since this is the first time we are experiencing this, am at a loss on what to do!  Help.

Sleeping gone

16 month old normally sleeps 12 hours a night with 3 hour nap from 12-3 every day.

Went on vacation for THREE days. She refused to sleep  at night and during the day.

Normal bed time is 630-7. Today we drive the three hours home starting at noon. She slept most of the way. Had dinner, bath, books and then absolute melt down. Melt. Down.

Actually...more closely to a panic attack. She did this while on vacation.

What can I do? Why is she freaking out? I get her freaking out at the hotel but now we're home. And before this she would sleep in her pack and play ANYWHERE.

Advice? What can I do to calm her down?

Eta...We let her cry it out for 15 minutes and she's asleep. After two hours of rocking, putting down, reading, putting down, cry it out then go in after five minutes and increasing time etc. Am I going to have to do that every night now? Do you think she just needs time to adjust? Will it cause more harm than good to let het flip her shit? She threw full blown temper tantrum...banging head...I've never ever seen her do this.

Also...Baby sitter is grandma and she constantly tells me how she never lets Beau play alone. Jokingly says "oh well we are in her face all day playing, I'm sure she wears you out when you're with her".....I'm wondering if we're seeing parenting styles clash? We want to put her in full time school type environment with other kids and more structure...is this my clue to make that jump? The free childcare thing is pretty awesome.

ETA ETA as of 730 5/11...she cried for 30 seconds at nap time and slept 2.5 hours and tonight she went to bed with NO issues! Back to normal! Thank you for the advice, it'll be good to have for the future!!

Apr. 30th, 2015

I am once again here to glean knowledge from you wise parents! I appreciate your kind advice in my last post about my headstrong 3 year old. The situation bringing me here today is this: My daughter (3) started daycare yesterday. She did GREAT. (I was the one in tears!) She had been in desperate need of social interaction so this is a good thing for her. She made it through day 1 accident free. Today when I picked her up, she had apparently had two wet accidents. We potty trained about 6 months ago, went straight from diapers to undies. She does have accidents throughout the day most days, (always pee, she has never had a poop accident) usually due to being too engrossed in playing or being too stubborn to stop and go! Occasionally she will wet a little at nap or bedtime but she usually does good through those. We have tried a sticker chart for accidents but it meant nothing to her.

So on her backpack with her dirty clothes was a note, "Please bring Pull Ups for Sylvia for nap". And the teacher explained to me about her accidents. I said I would replace her change of clothes (I had literally sent like 3 pairs of pants and 4 undies just in case) and we went home, and my daughter started telling me about how she wore a diaper today, which Im guessing means someone put a Pull Up on her at some point. I was about to call my husband to stop and get some Pull Ups but I thought I'd come here for opinions first. I really don't want to do Pull Ups just out of personal preference. I tried telling my daughter it wasn't a diaper she wore but she wasn't convinced and I definitely don't want her thinking she is wearing one of those.

I have worked in childcare and I know it's a pain when a child has an accident. But if they are going to be changing a Pull Up anyway, whats the difference? I don't want to be the jerk parent right off the bat but I don't want to be the doormat either (which, honestly, is what I usually am). So, opinions, please!

Cloth Diapers & Potty Training

We need some advice about next steps as we think about potty training our cloth diapered toddler. We've been using bumgenius all-in-ones for the last two years and loved them. Daycare has asked us to think about transitioning her to pull-ups. So I have a few questions:
1. Did you find pull-ups necessary, or were you able to transition your child straight to underwear by waiting until they were ready
2. If you did use pull-ups, can you offer advice about pull-ups v. training pants and brands you recommend?
3. If you did get cloth pull-ups and/or training pants, how many pairs did you need? (We've made it two years with 24 diapers, the thought of buying another 24 pairs for just a couple of months seems annoying!)


Update and Fuller Backstory

First of all, thank you everyone for your replies to my previous post. The last time Finn had hit a cat was the day I posted (4/17) and we haven't had an incident since. We have:

-Reintroduced his responsibility chart which includes a "happy face" for "hands to yourself" which he knows very much includes the feline portion of our family. If he gets all the happy faces for one day he gets chocolate. He's REALLY into this. He's voluntarily cleaning the house even.
-My husband and I agreed to show as little emotion as possible when he hits a cat (hard for both of us). Whoever's attention he's trying to get (my about 80% of the time) takes said cat into the bedroom for 5-10 minutes. The other parent doesn't play with him and keeps interactions at a minimum until the cat leaves the bedroom.

Thinking it all over though, this is a symptom to an underlying issue we've had with Finn. I didn't want to get into it because it's kind of a long story, but getting this problem under control is really only treating a symptom, not the root cause and I'm a little uncertain how to get to the root cause here. I think I'm going to talk to his ped again in the near future but in the meanwhile if any of you want to hear the whole thing and offer your advice....

The whole storyCollapse )

Apr. 20th, 2015

I am sure similar situations to mine have been posted before but I am at a loss as to what to do. My daughter has never been the laid-back type - she had reflux as an infant, has always had sleep issues - we live in a small house and my husband and I went from spending our evenings binge-watching TV shows on Netflix to sitting in the living room whispering to one another or, worse, listening to music on our phones with headphones on for fear of waking her up.

She is very sweet and loving. And she has always been stubborn and strong willed - she would obsess about things and once she got hooked on an object or topic it was hard to remove her from that - but since she has turned three it has magnified First of all, the attitude, which I know comes with age. But nothing makes her happy. Nothing satisfies her. I should probably point out here that she is an only child. I am literally petrified that I am raising a spoiled brat. But beyond that - I literally can't take her anywhere. It ALWAYS ends in a fight. Grocery store because she didn't get a balloon. Library because she wants to play more. Running into a restaurant to pick up take out and she cries because she wants to stay there and eat. And the obsessing. We went to a birthday party for my grandmother yesterday and she knew there was a fish tank at the personal care home and she was so focused (and that's an understatement) on that the whole time she was literally beating on the doors to get to it, she wouldn't eat or visit with anyone (and yes, we did take her to see it more than once).

She doesn't seem to "get" rules, when you get down to her level and talk to her like "In our house we don't do such and such" she doesn't even hear it. Sticker charts mean nothing. I just did one for the potty - she is mostly potty trained although she sometimes has several tiny accidents a day for reasons I can't understand (though she never poops her pants or completely pees herself). When I made the chart she put the stickers on and got her prizes but it didn't really motivate her.

I had a breakdown this week when I picked her up from my in-laws and had a Mike Wazowski (she loves Monsters Inc) sitting in her car seat waiting for her and she threw it aside and said "I don't want this!!!" I feel like I am failing miserably as a mother. Maybe I didn't hold her enough as a baby - when she had reflux we had to put her down in a reclining seat as soon as she was done eating so she didn't throw up. Maybe I am not taking her enough places to get acclimated to being out and about. I know she doesn't get enough socialization. I am going back to work this week and she should be starting daycare soon which opens a whole new bag of worries and fears - for me. I know most of them are not valid. But lately I can't stand her and that adds to the guilt and it's an endless cycle! Before I buy a book I thought I'd come here first for free advice.

Apr. 17th, 2015

I have a problem with my 4.5 year old son.

He doesn't like my attention straying from him AT ALL. Unless he has a friend over or a grandparent or something like that, he wants me to be paying complete and total attention to him at all times. And if my attention wanders, even for a second, he hits or kicks one of our cats. Our cats have claws but all three are surprisingly gentle to him despite the abuse (and our pep talks to them to scratch him back.)

I mean if I'm peeing, eating, noticing a flower...he's hurting a cat. He knows I'll respond and the kicker is, I have to respond to prevent the cat from getting hurt.

He used to also hit me, months and month back, but I managed to stop that by walking away/leaving the room/leaving the house or, if he got really bad, shutting him in his room (I'd stay on the other side and explain once he calmed down that it was my job to keep everyone in the house safe, including myself and will separate him in his room if he was being unsafe with me.)

Otherwise, no aggression with other children. No aggression at school (though we did go through a period of time where he hit the teachers about a year ago, that passed quickly though). No aggression to other people's pets. And it is ALWAYS to get my attention. If he has someone over, he more or less completely ignores the cats.

I'm just at a loss to do here. I know I'm feeding it everytime I step it, but I'm in a bind because I also need to prevent him from hurting the cats.

To add to my concern, we're having a baby in early July (this has been going on before he knew I was pregnant).

Vomiting after swimming

My 15 month old and I are in parent/tot swimming class. She loves to put her face in the water and blow bubbles. However, this means she's swallowing quite a bit of water. After the first two classes, she vomited once when we got home and was fine after. Last night she vomited when we got home again, then twice again during the night. She seems better this morning and is able to keep some liquid (bm) down. I'm trying to figure out if she has a virus that I need to be concerned about her sister catching or if this is due to swallowing the pool water. Have your kids puked that much after swimming?

Postpartum? (Bit of a read)

I had a very rough pregnancy. I was sick the entire time except for about one month where I actually felt wonderful. I actually ended up losing a lot of weight because I was always sick and worried both my doctor and husband. I worked all the way up to the day before I was supposed to be induced. My labor was all back labor but once my little one finally made her grand debut, I was completely in love. I went back to work just shy of three weeks after having her and my husband has stayed home with her ever since. My precious daughter is now a healthy and very happy 5 month old. I couldn't ask for a more perfect child.

In the last few days I've noticed I've become exceptionally depressed. I don't want to go to work but keep convincing myself I need to go (I'm the only income in the house). I'm stressed with all of these responsibilities and know that I need to file for bankruptcy and aid, which kills my pride. I feel like I'm failing everyone and just want to stay home with my daughter. I took the last day and a half off from work just to try to overcome these feelings. With lots of hugs and smiles and some sleep, I'm feeling a little perkier today but fear it's only temporary. Any suggestions or advice? Am I crazy or just hormonal?

Ongoing sickness...

Hi team,

Sorry in advance for a l o n g post.

My daughter turned two a month ago and has been sick since her birthday.

A week before her birthday we started at a new preschool, longer hours, so I know she picked up some bugs from being in a new environment and around new kids but this seems - well - horrible.

At first she had a really nasty bug for about three weeks that she just couldn't shake - the worst I've ever seen her have, actually. And my mum was here on holiday at the time and caught it and also went down really hard. I took my daughter to the Doctor after 2.5 weeks and the doctor said no doubt it was viral: blocked nose, bad cough, aching, sore tummy, headache (she was telling me "tummy sore" etc, and my mum confirmed the same), vomiting, diarrhea, etc. She also had an ear infection (that makes 6 in the last year), so I was prescribed anti-biotics that lasted a week.

As we got to the end of the anti-biotics she seemed to be coming right, and for about four days I thought she was well.

However, then she got another bug. This one also including cold symptoms (almost like the flu), and vomiting. She then again started telling me "sore tummy", "sore ears", etc.
I took her to the doctor last Wednesday and was told she had Glue ear. The doctor guessed she also has a bad cold, and likely either hayfever or asthma. The doctor thinks that the vomiting is only happening because her chest is so congested and her airways are narrow so she's vomiting to get out flem etc.

I, personally, didn't grow up around asthma so I have no experience with it. She's been given an inhaler and she is pretty good at using it but honestly - I'm not sure it's helping. I think it's too hard to know.

On top of this:
- I'm starting to wonder if she has a UTI. A month ago I would have said she was fully potty trained - awesome at telling me when she needed to go, very few accidents, etc. But now all of a sudden she WILL NOT tell me EVER that she needs to go, despite NOT hating the toilet etc.
- She's being REALLY clingy towards her dummy (pacifier) and cuddly. She pretty much will not put them down.
- Her attitude has been appalling. I'm trying to make allowances for her feeling potentially unwell, and I guess I'm aware of the possibility of "The terrible Twos" but I mean, she fights me on ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. I feel like this is NOT MY KID (not the version of her that I know).

What are your thoughts on this? Anyone have any idea what this could possibly be? or Advice?
Is this just "par for the course" with the terrible twos attitude + sickness? Do you think Asthma could be the reason for how sick she is? General tips on how to get through it!?!? :-p

I have a new job and taking this much time off DOES NOT look good, and it doesn't help her adjust to the new preschool.
Should I be pushing for more tests at the Doctor? I hate to be one of *those* mums who thinks there is all these things wrong with their (probably pretty normal) kid, so I tend to under-react whenever possible.
But now that it's been a month of sickness, mood swings, accidents - I feel at a bit of a loss.

Thanks in advance team.

Dentist for toddler

Quick post! I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and I'm thinking I should bring along my fifteen month old? She's absolutely horrible with letting me brush and I'm a freaky about teeth. One of my worst fears is that she has my teeth AND I caused them to be worse with my inability to brush her teeth. She's got 10, including top and bottom molars.

Ah I'm rambling. When should be the earliest you take a kid into the dentist? Ours is a family friend so that makes things easier. I brush in front of her every day...And we sing the raffi song that are loves but it's screaming when I brush. :( maybe her gums are sore?

I noticed plaque build up on the back of her lower bottom and tried using tooth brush and wet paper towel and still couldn't remove it. Nooo! Like I need it gone!!! Or am I overreacting? Again....a freak about teeth. Twice + a day for me and mine are still horrible! :(

...And the rambling continues


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