SW: Leia Beautiful

(no subject)

My six year old son, Finn, is close friends with a boy at his after school program.  Though they're the same age, Finn tends to act like this kid is all knowing (the kid projects that kind of attitude too).  Finn's friend is the kid of the program director.  We're non-religious; this kid and his family are Christian.  And I know he talks about his religion sometimes.  I have no problem with any of that.

What has become an issue is that this kid has been talking up heaven to Finn: what it is and how to get there.  Specifically the message that Finn's taken to heart is that it's better than anything, you don't have to go to school there, and all you have to do is die.

So now he's telling me he wants to die, he wants to kill himself, he wants to be in heaven.

I just got off the phone with the world's most awkward conversation with the program director, but she said she'll talk to her kid about not talking about heaven.  I left messages with the school pyschologist and his teacher.  I'm quite certain my son's not depressed or anything like that, but I also don't want to underestimate this either. I think in his mind it's more like hey, school or the ice cream stand?  You know?  But like I said, he's told me he wants to kill himself to get to heaven so I'd rather make a fuss for nothing then have the worst happen and wish I took this more seriously.  (In this case, better to over-react that under-react, right?)  I'm also going to give a call to the psychologist Finn's seen before (he has ADHD and sensory processing disorder, but the psychologist at the time felt he didn't need regular counseling).

My question is...what do say to him when he tells me this?  I told him this morning that no one really knows if heaven's real.  He responded that he thinks it was and his friend said it was but then started to say but if there are ghosts then maybe it's not real and we all just become ghosts.
Arya Stark


From this entry: http://parenting101.livejournal.com/7685398.html

Thank you all for the suggestions! Over the weekend she napped both days! GASP. Starting Friday we got back to falling asleep in her own bed easily with no fighting. Book, Song, Sleep. I told her I would stay until she fell asleep but then I would leave. I told her I was going to read my book though, and that made ME feel better. And I told her that I would leave after she fell asleep so she would toss and turn but not wake up and run out of the room immediately.

She is still waking up at Midnight-1am though and coming into our room. And even if she does sleep in our bed, she's tossing and turning all night. She's too hot, mostly I think, and I refuse to go back to my husband and I switching out nights in the spare bedroom. I know I googled a ton but the truth is, I'm so selfish! I want my bed back! I want my husband back! I want to be able to sleep without being woken up every 30 minutes. And on top of that...I need to be up at 6 every day and it's pouring into my job and making me do poor work. SO...

A few of you suggested putting up a blanket in our room and letting her sleep on that. I will try that this week! Thank you!

Sleep Training

Backstory: been sleeping 12 hours a night since 2 months old. Sleeping 3 hour naps during the day since forever.

Four weeks ago on Monday we went to a hockey game and it's been a catastrophe since. No changes occurred other than this. We had switched to a toddler bed months before and it was a perfect and smooth transition. Monday she switched to the 2's classroom but I really don't think that changed much. Same center, she does before and after care so she's always had 3 different people watching over her during the day. The only thing that changed is the second caregiver. And honestly, that changed often too because they let her attend all different rooms to get her ready. Either way, this problem started weeks before that.

Anyway, completely and utterly afraid of us walking away during bedtime. NO ISSUES if she's playing in her room (she's really into trying to dress/undress herself, no toys other than a few stuffies), No issues at school when we leave her, it's only around bedtime. We let her sleep in our bed so she's always asking for that. She screams and cries and has a full blown panic attack at bed time. Before this it was hug, kiss, lay down and that's it. I'd walk out with a smile and she'd smile and she'd pass out.

I looked all over the internet and I see that this is the worst time to let habits like laying next to her bed, laying in her bed, standing while she falls asleep, sneaking out of the room while she falls asleep and letting her sleep in our bed. If she does fall asleep she wakes at midnight and then at that point I've already slept a bit and just bring her into bed since I Have to wake up at 6am. SO...

Any tips? Advice?

Karma is a bitch! :)

ETA: She also spent a weekend at my MIL house last weekend and slept her normal hours on a mattress on the floor in their room. She's been sleeping LOADS more at school and they've been telling me they have to WAKE her up and it's hard. Obviously because she's not getting any sleep at home. :/

Should I be firm or cave and let her sleep in our room with the hopes she'll soon grow out of it?
Surma and Raynard

Infant hip dysplasia

So when, at 10 months, my daughter Ellie wasn't crawling or making moves towards standing or walking, my GP referred her to a pediatrician, who referred her to occupational therapy and physiotherapy, thinking she was just slightly developmentally delayed.

But the results of an xray has shown that, actually, her hips are displaced. So now we have to take her to see a specialist at Sick Kids and discuss treatment options.

Has anyone had any experience with this? How was it treated?  Is it a concern anymore? Do you have to be worried/careful with their hips?

Sorry, I'm just worried about this and need input from those who are experienced.


My Four Year Old is Biting Other Kids

I posted last month about our issues with our four year old and potty training (still no improvement). Now we're having issues with biting. As a toddler he got bit a lot at daycare, but rarely bit another kid (happened once or twice just after his 1st birthday). He is FOUR YEARS OLD and in the last two months has bitten another child three times.

He bit another kid at preschool in December (on the finger), he bit his sister last night SO HARD he left a huge bruise on her arm, and now just this morning he bit his sister again on the hand. He left deep teeth impressions. HE KNOWS BETTER. This is what is so frustrating. He's been bit by other kids before and he knows how much it hurts (recently he was bit by some strange kid on the playground).

He knows he's not supposed to bite, yet he continues to do it anyway. He gets sent to his room (there's no toys, no books, etc. It's just his bed and a closet full of clothes. We've had to remove all the toys and books from his room because he could care less about being sent to timeout on the stairs or having toys removed from the play room).

All three times it has happened during play time and it is because the other child wasn't doing what my son wanted. We just can't seem to make it clear to him that the other children (the kid at preschool and his sister) don't have to do what he wants. They can do what they want. Then we get back the sassy response of "I make the rules!" and "Yes, they do!"

Four Year Old & Potty Training

My son is four and is nowhere near being "fully" potty trained. He wears underwear 24 hours a day, but will not come to me (or anyone else) and say he has to go potty. We are on a schedule for the most part. If I make him sit on the potty, he will pee, but unless I remember to make him sit, he will hold it until I do or until he pees himself.

We have talked at length about this issue, about telling Mommy and Daddy he has to pee, but he still refuses. The second issue is the poop. We've been "potty training" for well over a year and he has NEVER pooped in the toilet. He has a more or less consistent schedule (pooping about once a day right after lunch). I know this and will make him sit on the toilet after lunch. He's stubborn little behind will hold it for as long as it takes. It never fails, as soon as he gets back into his underwear (and into his room) he poops himself.

I give him privacy (always) when he's in the bathroom. We've read books, watched videos, talked, tried more reward systems than I can count but he still refuses to 1) tell us when has to go (both poop and pee) and 2) poop on the toilet.


EDIT: We already make him clean up his own underwear/mess when he does. We have a sprayer (we used to use cloth diapers) and he cleans up his mess/himself and puts himself in new underwear like it is no big deal. He just doesn't care.
Surma and Raynard

Gagou Tagou cuddle bag carseat cover

Last year, when I had my baby, my husband's work gave us a gift of a car seat cover/sack by a company called Gagou Tagou. It's a more lightweight version of the Jolly Jumper Cuddle Bag. We washed it after it was no longer needed.

But now it is needed, and...I can find how to install the bottom section to the car seat but I can't find how to attach the top to the bottom. It's zippable but the left side has four connectors (two on the bottom section, two on the top section) and none on the right side.

I know it's a long shot that maybe anyone would know how this works but I'm beyond frustrated. Does anyone know how to work this thing?