June 19th, 2008

opinions please,...

So, let's say you lend a monitor to your neighbour.  Let's say the monitor was brand new ( read: 6 weeks to a couple months old).  Let's also say it had been a gift and had some sentimental value to it ( yeah, I know, shouldn't have lent it, that would have been the best senerio) 
Let's also say that said monitor met an untimely demise while at the neighbours house thanks to a cat and a baseboard heater.

1. what would be an acceptable solution?
2. what if the person offered to replace it,.....?
3. would you accept any form of replacement or would you expect the same item if available?
4. Would you want the item replaced brand new or would you be fine with a used replacement from an unknown person?
5. Is there ever a right solution in these instances?

  • Current Mood
    curious curious

Parental Relationships/Influences

What do you think about single parents who say they "are mommy and daddy" for their kids? Do you think that's possible? Are there some things Mommies do that Daddies can't for a child, and vice versa? And if so, is the child going to be deprived or missing out on something if their is no Daddy or Mommy?

I ask because I've begun telling people in my life that I'm pregnant, and I'm getting a lot of questions about fathers. I think I'm a capable person, and I'll be an excellent mother to my children, but I do worry sometimes that there are some things my children will never experience, because they won't have a father?

Oh, and how would you respond if someone asked you, "Don't you feel bad that your baby (ies) won't have a father?!"

Also, it's completely possible that this doesn't make any sense, as it's 2AM and I can't sleep. :/

Help...

So my boys' father and I just broke up tonight after 5 years, he moved his stuff out after the children went to bed *ages 2 and 4*  I have no idea what he is planning on, visit wise or whatnot.  I feel that he's been cheating on me, and really am afraid of him playing the game of mommy is a bitch, I'm better than mommy, don't tell mommy the words I love you...stuff like that.  My 4yo is very influential and mimicy right now.  I will never talk bad about their father to them, being my parents did that to me and I hate them to this day for it. 

So my question is this, what and how do I tell my 4yo what is happening with daddy, and why he is not home?  I don't want to say the wrong thing to him.  But need to be able to let him know that daddy loves him *which is the partial truth, I believe he does, but doesn't show it a bit, when he tells daddy I love you, he's like I know.  Won't say it back*     Been There, Done That's please help me! 
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed

That's the mom's job!

I often wonder why I continue to try and keep the father of my child involved with her. I think he would have no problem never hearing from us again. He is a great father, when others are watching. He tells people he does stuff that he doesn't (make bottles, change diapers, hell the only time he holds her is in front of other people), so he has to know he's a shitty father since he has to lie about things. We were together for the first three months after my daughter being born and when I would ask him to do something he would say, "That's the mom's job." This would be anything from running to get more formula, to holding her for a moment so I could pee alone.
So what exactly is, "the dad's job?" Really I would love to know since it seems to be a whole bunch of nothing.
Yesterday I started my 5pm - 1:30am shift and he agreed to watch her over night. So he shows up around 4:30 and I leave. He txted me when she went to bed at her normal time of 8:30. I get home at 2am and go to bed. Adrian being the little alarm clock she is, wakes up at 6am on the dot. I make her a bottle, change her diaper, and feed her. Usually she'll go back to sleep, but this morning she was up. So I wake him up and ask him to take care of her until 8 so I can get a couple more hours of sleep. He whines, "But I have to work at 9!" and goes back to sleep. When I wake him up again a half an hour later he got mad and left, saying how tired he was.
Right. 8-9 hours of sleep just isn't enough for poor little him, but I'm expected to make it through the day on three and a half. I guess it's just another thing, "mom's do!"
A far less glamorous version of myself

Pregnancy Test Confusion

I know that most of you will probably just say wait a little longer and take another test but I'm just curious on something.

With my first son I took a pregnancy test that came back negative, however the next morning I saw it sitting on top of the trash and noticed it now said positive. I took another test and sure enough, positive.

Well this past Tuesday I took a test because I'm late, again, it said negative after waiting the 3 mins. about an hour later there was a faint positive line. So I took another one yesterday, same thing, comes up negative but this morning I looked at it again, and it shows positive.

I plan to test again in a couple of days but has this happened to any of you? And if so after retesting days later was it usually positive or negative?

Thanks for any advice!

(no subject)

Does anyone have experience with autistic children and musical instruments?

Right now, my husband and I have temporary custody of his cousin's 4-year-old, who is autistic. He's still pretty high-functioning, though, but he has a lot of violent tendencies (he doesn't MEAN to be violent, I think that's how he just vents his energy) and we're trying to think of ways to redirect his negative actions.

My husband and I are both musicians, and I thought maybe piano lessons or another instrument would be a good way to get him focused on something positive, and be fun at the same time. But he gets frustrated easily when he can't do something the correct way, so I'm not sure this is a good idea or not. For those of you who have experience with autistic children, have you ever had them take piano or other music lessons? Was the outcome positive? Or should I be focusing on another idea, like sports, possibly?

Right now, he's in school for 7 hours a day, but I'm hoping to switch that to half a day at the end of the month, and then maybe do this with him 3 days a week. If we do end up doing this, do you think it would be better for my husband and I to teach him, or to find him a private teacher?
autumn- name

Vaccines

I just came across the post about the article in Parents magazine and that led me to a question on which my google skills are failing me:

For those of you who chose not to vaccine, why?

I'm not trying to start a snark fest or a debate. I am honestly curious because everyone I know IRL is all for getting their kids vaccinated. My child's ped is very much for vaccines. So I don't know the other side of the argument. Can someone enlighten me without being bitchy?

(no subject)

 So.

I have a heart condition, and I can't go outside when it's OMG super hot out side, and it's almost that time. My daughter is 2, and I've exausted
Barbies, Movies, Coloring, playdough, doll house, and baby dolls.

I'm starting to loose it a bit. 

So fun indoor activities? I'm currently living with my inlaws (UGHHHHHH house fell through, it's horrible here), so I'm limited on space, but not on resources so to speak.

Any ideas/suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!

TIA!
  • cuspie

Phobic baby?!

My 10 month old daughter is suddenly phobic of bathtime. This literally happened overnight and I have no idea how to help her :( Well, I do have a couple of ideas including taking baths with her but just being in there with her. No washing hair, no soap...just toys and mommy.

Any other ideas?

(no subject)

 This is REDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is my opinion that the courts WAY overstepped their authority.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/court-overturns-fathers-grounding-of-12yearold/2008/06/19/1213770765707.html

Basicly the father grounded his 12 year old daughter for breaking the rules regarding her use of the internet & grounded her.  He took away all her internet rights & wouldn't let her go on a feild trip.  The court un-grounded her.
Me flower
  • ncp

More cloth-diaper woes...

So I've been using prefolds for a week or so, and figured out that the "Bikini Twist" makes Little Bit's diapers less bulky. But it doesn't hold the poop as well as the "Angel Wings" fold (which gives him bowling-ball butt). I've gotten really good at sun-bleaching stains out of the diaper covers. Any tips or tricks?,

ETA: "Angel Wings" also doesn't fit as well because he's got chubby thighs and he ends up having to spread his legs really wide.
thoughtful me

(no subject)

Have any of you other mamas noticed that your sense of smell is totally off kilter AFTER giving birth? You always hear about people's sensitivities to smell changing during pregnancy, sure, which mine did to some extent. But like for example, some of my favorite perfume oils, which I could still use during pregnancy, now just nauseate me... they smell AWFUL to me now, and my baby's 5 months old! Anyone else have this experience?

Baby headphones...??

Does anyone where I would be able to pick up some of those baby headphones for outdoor concerts? Like these: http://www.kidshearingprotection.co.uk/ but preferably in Canada (more specifically, Vancouver)
We have an outdoor show to go to and my daughter will be six months. Now our doctor told us she would be fine for outdoor venues after two months, but I would still like to err on the side of caution.
Any ideas??
  • flayre

American Medical Association seeks to outlaw homebirth

I realize that homebirth isn't for everyone, however, I feel this is important because the AMA wants to legislate how and where a woman gives birth...period.

http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2008/06/16/bad-medicine-ama-seeks-to-outlaw-home-births

for the actual adopted stances at their recent meeting, see the minutes
http://search.ama-assn.org/Search/cs.html?charset=iso-8859-1&url=http%3A//www.ama-assn.org/ama1/pub/upload/mm/471/annotatedb.doc&qt=home+birth&col=&n=1&la=en

x-posted

Work from home?

A lot of stuff has recently changed in my life and I really need to find a job I can do at home while watching the baby. Outside obtaining an awesome skill and making my own ebay store (not likely possibility), what other options are there for working from home? I figure some of you momma's may have tried it and I dont really trust sketchy google searches. Scams are not your friend. Anyone have experience with any good work from home job?
Family is a gift

Sleep Study or Therapy?

My daughter (4 years old)  has the worst sleep habits - and not in the wont go to sleep and fights it way. 
First, no matter what bedtime routine I do with her- and we've tried many - she can't sleep before midnight.
She grinds her teeth
She sleep talks
She screams in her sleep
She walks in her sleep
and now she's started crying in her sleep. And its not just a bad dream.  I can wake her up, make her go to the bathroom, and as soon as she falls back asleep, the crying continues.  Its only about once a week, so I dont know what to do!  Needless to say its stressful to both of us and we are both always tired.  In the past 6 months we've added a baby to the family, moved across country, and her father has deployed, so I know she has to be a bit stressed out and/or sad.  I'm going to call and make an appt with her PCM tomorrow, but has anyone experienced anything like this?  What about sleep studies on young children?  Therapy for preschoolers?  She gets overwhelmed very easily, so i'm not sure how well she'd do in therapy. 

Back to sleep

I put my daughter down on her back and she's flipped to her stomach. Do I need to flip her back over and risk having her wake up and scream? She's 7+ months old and on the verge of crawling. She's never done this before...she usually sleeps on her back or side.