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My Four Year Old is Biting Other Kids

I posted last month about our issues with our four year old and potty training (still no improvement). Now we're having issues with biting. As a toddler he got bit a lot at daycare, but rarely bit another kid (happened once or twice just after his 1st birthday). He is FOUR YEARS OLD and in the last two months has bitten another child three times.

He bit another kid at preschool in December (on the finger), he bit his sister last night SO HARD he left a huge bruise on her arm, and now just this morning he bit his sister again on the hand. He left deep teeth impressions. HE KNOWS BETTER. This is what is so frustrating. He's been bit by other kids before and he knows how much it hurts (recently he was bit by some strange kid on the playground).

He knows he's not supposed to bite, yet he continues to do it anyway. He gets sent to his room (there's no toys, no books, etc. It's just his bed and a closet full of clothes. We've had to remove all the toys and books from his room because he could care less about being sent to timeout on the stairs or having toys removed from the play room).

All three times it has happened during play time and it is because the other child wasn't doing what my son wanted. We just can't seem to make it clear to him that the other children (the kid at preschool and his sister) don't have to do what he wants. They can do what they want. Then we get back the sassy response of "I make the rules!" and "Yes, they do!"


Jan. 22nd, 2016 11:17 pm (UTC)
He's 4, what he knows does not equil his current level of impulse control. And while he knows that being bitten hurts him, empathy really doesn't develop until about age 7, so putting together "I hurt when I get bitten, therefore my sister hurts when she gets bitten" isn't really happening. Sounds like he's frustraited and reacting in the moment. I'd keep reinforcing "the rule is no one bites anyone else" It takes repetition. Both the biting and the sassy back talk are testing boundaries. As long as the boundaries remain firm and consistent he'll get it. Probably before you try to eat him in frustration.


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