Amy Cooper (amycooper) wrote in parenting101,
Amy Cooper

My six year old son, Finn, is close friends with a boy at his after school program.  Though they're the same age, Finn tends to act like this kid is all knowing (the kid projects that kind of attitude too).  Finn's friend is the kid of the program director.  We're non-religious; this kid and his family are Christian.  And I know he talks about his religion sometimes.  I have no problem with any of that.

What has become an issue is that this kid has been talking up heaven to Finn: what it is and how to get there.  Specifically the message that Finn's taken to heart is that it's better than anything, you don't have to go to school there, and all you have to do is die.

So now he's telling me he wants to die, he wants to kill himself, he wants to be in heaven.

I just got off the phone with the world's most awkward conversation with the program director, but she said she'll talk to her kid about not talking about heaven.  I left messages with the school pyschologist and his teacher.  I'm quite certain my son's not depressed or anything like that, but I also don't want to underestimate this either. I think in his mind it's more like hey, school or the ice cream stand?  You know?  But like I said, he's told me he wants to kill himself to get to heaven so I'd rather make a fuss for nothing then have the worst happen and wish I took this more seriously.  (In this case, better to over-react that under-react, right?)  I'm also going to give a call to the psychologist Finn's seen before (he has ADHD and sensory processing disorder, but the psychologist at the time felt he didn't need regular counseling).

My question is...what do say to him when he tells me this?  I told him this morning that no one really knows if heaven's real.  He responded that he thinks it was and his friend said it was but then started to say but if there are ghosts then maybe it's not real and we all just become ghosts.

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